Since violent entertainment
erodes the sanctity of human life,
it’s revealing to examine
the extent of our complicity.
We are more alike than different . . . only our thoughts construct narratives of Other. Our behaviours and actions follow. If, as global citizens, we cannot agree that the sanctity of human life is non-negotiable, it’s impossible to share any meaningful dialogue about equality.
selfArchive Blog 02/19 | New Year | Awakening | Transformation | Words
Wishing you and your loved ones a year of promise for 2019 from Arlene
If we’re conscious,
our lives can transcend
the privation of
our own self-interest.
There are times in our life when we activate a fuller expression of being, and we know it. Our senses intensify. Our capacities expand. We feel deeply and we speak truth. We’re brave.
As our innate wisdom shepherds us across the abyss of our fear, we ask more of ourselves and we receive more of ourselves in return.
selfArchive Blog 01/19 | New Year | Awakening | Transformation | Words
People cook dinners. They build tree houses, knit scarves and draw homemade cards. Sometimes they help you move or take you to the rink or medical appointments. At other times, they simply listen.
These ordinary gifts of the heart are easily overlooked, yet everlasting.
selfArchive Blog 12/18 | Holiday Spirt | Awakening | Transformation | Words
These are stones with no appreciable monetary value. A collection of minerals molten, compressed, cooled, fractured and tumbled over millennia. Plucked carefully and hauled from river bars and ocean shores—some by me and some by others—they archive geological journeys beyond my imagining.
When I’m no longer here to witness their poetry, will my lifetime curation be evident? Do I am imagine my survivors will discern the tumor, the organisms or the cross? Unlikely. The stones will be dumped in a garden or at the beach. Maybe they’ll be thrown in a river.
Long after my bones have turned to earth, the stones will continue to transform.
And I will, too.
selfArchive Blog 12/18 | Cancer | Awakening | Transformation | Words
Hair loss is a side-effect of some cancer therapies. It symbolizes fear and loss of control in the face of cancer diagnosis. And it’s a big concern for many cancer patients.
As silly or vain as it may sound, our appearance is a core aspect of our identity. It has a powerful impact on how we understand and locate ourselves in the world. Sure, fashion and gender styles are fluid . . . in 2018, lots of people shave their heads. However, sudden, undesired hair loss from chemotherapy (or for any other reason) is a different thing.
First, unlike shaving, hair loss from chemotherapy is not intentional. It can also be messy; exposing irregular, patchy spots on our scalp and leaving clumps of hair on our pillows and clothing. Hair loss is embarrassing. To get closer to a worse-case scenario, just imagine what it might look like if a small rodent chewed your hair over a period of days or weeks.
Second, unlike shaving, which leaves a shadow of shorn hair in the follicles, hair loss leaves nothing—no definition. Our scalp looks different without hair roots because there is only skin.
Third, in addition to the hair on our head, we’ll often loose our eyebrows. This can be a terrible shock. While it’s understandable to feel self-conscious when we lose our hair, especially if we already look pale and unwell, the loss of our eyebrows alters our appearance dramatically. Hair signals youth and vitality. Without our hair and eyebrows, we can look and feel vulnerable. We don’t look like ourselves. To be frank, our face may look baby-like, especially if we’re taking steroids that give us a round or “moon face.”
Should you lose your own hair, you may or may not want a wig. Fewer people want them now than in the past. When I was diagnosed with stage IV non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, almost 20 years ago, I had a $950 wig constructed out of real hair. I never wore it with confidence because it always seemed to shift position and end up at some unflattering angle. I had foolishly ignored expert advice to get a short style, instead insisting upon recreating my previous look. It was an impressive wig but even with heavy make-up, my face no longer matched the strong look of the long, thick, brown curls. I probably wore the wig five or six times before I finally abandoned it entirely. When I look at it now I’m touched by what a lovely and generous a gift it was from my family. The natural hair is still beautiful.
A Cancer Wig
In this photo, the wig looks like a wild animal. I don’t know whether to smile or cry. Now, of course, synthetic wigs are more popular and people are more daring with colour and styles. But real hair wigs still hold a special place for many patients because they help them to recognize something of themselves when so much of who they are has gone. People all over the world donate, offer and even sell their hair so that those without hair can feel more like themselves.
You can contribute, too. Do some research to find out how you can help. Here in British Columbia many people donate their hair to create wigs for adults and kids who are facing difficult journeys.
Consider Wigs For Kids BC if you’re interested in gifting your hair to a child.
selfArchive Blog 10/18 | Cancer | Awakening | Transformation | Words
selfArchive Column 09:18 and Blog 09/18
On Being Human Now
I took a moment to reflect on if I was kind to each person I met today. My answer wasn’t all that comforting: Sometimes yes, and sometimes no.
selfArchive Blog 09/18 | K I N D N E S S | Awakening | Transformation | Words
selfArchive Blog 08/18
The End of Seeking Project
Consciously awakening to our life is the single most transformative thing that a human being can experience. It’s also the foundation for building a socially, economically and environmentally sustainable world.
The End of Seeking Project shares lessons from more than 40 years of spiritual enquiry. It has become the most significant communication project of my life.
We write about what we know or need to know, and in my case, there has been a movement towards transformation and this ineffable thing called Awareness. I’ve spent much of my life drawn to silence; often experienced in solitude but also through openings when sitting with spiritual teachers, healers, psychologists, psychiatrists and, occasionally, awakened masters.
At an early age I found peace in this stillness and felt no need to understand anything more. But as I moved through childhood and entered adolescence, this shifted. That’s when I lost what was once familiar and close. And that’s when I became a seeker.
I’ve since read many books, listened to many speakers, and attended many workshops in search of something I sensed was missing in my life, always beyond my grasp. Even after surviving a terminal cancer diagnosis and training as an integrative energy healing practitioner, the searching didn’t stop. And then, one day . . . it did.
The seeking ended without my being consciously aware of it until months later because it was so quiet that I almost missed it.
I will share glimpses of the project in the coming months.
selfArchive Blog 08/18 | Awakening | Transformation | Words
selfArchive Blog 07/18
About Canada Day
On Canada Day I stand as a proud first generation Canadian*—but not that proud. As Canadians we collectively and individually need to examine our thoughts, behaviours and actions more closely, specifically the national conceit of living in “Canada the Good.”
I’m not questioning our international reputation as a civilized democracy. Canada is good. It’s very good. But it could be much better if we put an end to xenophobia and the ugly forms of racism and social injustice it foments.
July 1st is a day to remind ourselves that we have opportunities to practice inclusion, not just in theory, not just through legislation but within our daily lives. Inclusion has always been a personal choice.
Frankly, it’s not just new immigrant children and their families who confront xenophobia. Every day there are thousands of citizens here on Canadian soil who are made to feel “other” by fellow Canadians, by us or people like us and our children. This despite the fact that Canada is a country of global migrants living on ceded and unceded traditional territories.
We can all do better. We can be better Canadians and better global citizens. And it begins with being better people. I was reminded of this recently. If you haven’t seen the documentary Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, please rush to your local theatre. It’s a poignant reminder about being human that might bring a tear to your eye.
Over 50 years ago Fred Rogers understood what it meant to sow the seeds of human dignity, respect and love. Recognizing television’s growing influence, he directed his ministry towards children’s programming. Whether we are children or adults, the wisdom he shared is foundational to what it means to be human.
Happy Canada Day.
selfArchive Blog 07/18 | Awakening | Transformation | Words
selfArchive Blog 06/18
It’s uncommon to experience the complete absence of sound in the contemporary world but we can still make an intention to spend quiet time alone. We can walk away from distraction, find a private place and sit quietly for long enough to sense the subtle realm that surrounds us.
Most people don’t do this.
But many do.
there is nothing to say.
I put aside my discomfort
And the world unfolds.
selfArchive Blog 06/18 | Awakening | Transformation | Words
selfArchive Blog 05/18
All lives are precious. This suggestion makes some people indignant. But to judge one life as more valuable than another is an unsettling idea for many of us.
I thought a great deal about this when I survived my own encounter with death, and continued to live. My experience was not so uncommon. Every day, human beings die from violent trauma and ordinary things like the flu or falling down the stairs.
The Canadian Cancer Society celebrates Daffodil Month each April in an gesture to honour people with cancer and those whose lives have been impacted as survivors, family and friends, researchers and healthcare professionals. April is over but I’m celebrating May by recognizing the individuals among us who have overcome the odds and continue to live—regardless of what they’ve faced. I’ve known many such people, and have lost many others. I’ve also come to respect life more than I have in the past. I now realize that we all have an opportunity to wake up and live our lives consciously.
My new book project honours our every small intention to live an awakened life. It shares what experience has taught me: Every life is valuable and deserves to be honoured. This is our birthright.
If we’re conscious,
our lives can transcend
the privation of
our own self-interest.
On 10 May 2018, please celebrate The Courage to Come Back Awards
Over the past 19 years, Coast Mental Health has celebrated 114 British Columbians who have shown courage in the face of extraordinary adversity to emerge stronger and with a deep compassion to help others. Each year, at the Courage To Come Back Awards, we share their stories of triumph with the goal of helping others facing adversity regain the belief that, with courage, reclaiming their lives is possible.
selfArchive Blog 05/18 | Awakening | Transformation | Words
selfArchive Blog 04/18
Thirty years ago I was captivated with Rollo May’s book The Courage to Create. Later I found confirmation of my experiences in the work of Edward de Bono, David Bohm and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Creativity has shaped my life through the exploration of ideas and potentials.
As a designer, I’ve been confounded many times when breathlessly elegant solutions were dismissed as simplistic in favour of flashy trifles of meaningless complication. Far from solving anything, providing clarity or offering good design, these empty concepts added nothing of beauty to the world. One might argue that visual illiteracy was to blame. I would suggest that an absence of clear thinking was an equal partner.
In stark contrast to visual and mental clutter—but only if they make it through the gatekeepers—sit apparently simple solutions that are assimilated immediately. Things like elegant programming code, poetry, mathematical equations and minimalist design. Here ideas are rigorously distilled until the underlying complexity is essentially hidden; subsumed by an overarching solution. Such clarity shines with intelligence for those who recognize its form. But not everyone does. It can be easily overlooked because it’s so obvious, it’s transparent.
selfArchive 719 | Creativity | Simplicity | Words